tested... ok

Just a short one tonight....

I couldn't be more relieved.

I just got tested. I'm negative.

There is so much power behind those words. So much weight. Intensity.

........I will sleep well tonight.

To Sing and Dance

Tonight, there was some singing. Bashful at first, within a few minutes a natural confidence sparkled through. I smiled, I laughed in a way that made me feel warm within. I tapped my toes in delight. Then, I heard the words: "Because I knew you I have been changed for good." It came at sort of an unexpected moment. A downtrodden moment amidst a cheerful chorus.

It made me sad. Nostaglic. Like a dim candle flickering in dense fog, memories wafted through the haze of the light. I struggled to grasp onto just one or two. I tried to remember, but it just seemed so distant. Neither bad, nor good. It just was.

The indelible impression made apon my soul. A laugh, a smile, a tear. A hug and a few whispered words in the dark. Forever distorted, altered and changed.

Each time our lives intertwine in the dance, the actual essence of the psyche bends a little into a new variation of reality. A new magnificence emerges; going backward is not possible.

As quickly as those dimly lit thoughts came, they passed unremarkably back into obsurity.

At my request, the music turned suddenly upbeat. The chorus got louder and the smile returned full force to my face. My meloncholy moment temporarily forgotten; replaced with song and a bit of a dance.

But now I remember. It happened again in just one instant. "Because I knew you, I have been changed for good." The alteration of my soul was miniscule, at most. But it's the newest version of me. Enhanced. Improved.

And it will all happen again tomorrow.

I think of those who have I have known in the past that are gone forever - some amazing and some forgettable. I also think of those important people I know today, some who are still as extraordinary today as the minute we first glimpsed a look at each other.

Thank you. Good or bad, I am what I am today because of you.

Grandma versus Business

My grandma lives in a different city. I don't see her as much as I should. I definitely don't call her enough. Life gets in the way sometimes. It's ok; she understands. The time we do spend together is often quality. She chatters and talks -- on the surface, it really does seem like whimsicle folly. Overall, topic of the day never seems particularly important.

So how she does it, I don't know. She always manages to wrap something good in the middle of converation without me ever really noticing. Her words often get me thinking. The thoughts she leaves me with are ultimately applied to the "issue of the day". I frequently wonder if she actually plans her words of wisdom or if it just coincidence that they always somehow show up at the most relevant times.

I dunno.

As I get older, I think about the things Grandma taught me when I was a kid.... I got into a fight with the kids in school and came home crying, she knew what to say to make me feel better. Homework was too tough, she encouraged me. Relationships failing, somehow I always left her house feeling special. At her house, I expanded my pallette as she encouraged me to try to new foods, and as an extension she got me to be open to new life experiences. She often said "no negative thoughts" and encouraged me to look beyond the "human condition" to find something that makes me feel like it is all worth while.

Consequently, I am convinced that if more people thought like my grandmother, I would definitely be out of a job.

An unusual circumstance to be in, for sure.

Interestingly, I've heard many of grandma's philosophies repeated over and over again by the most important people in my life... and the most successful. Some know her well, many don't know her at all.

I listened to several folks in business talk this afternoon about how they were planning on getting the company out of a financial situation. There was a lot of talk about "dollars" and how they were going to save them to meet some financial goals. The bottom line dollar was obviously very important. In the short run, the plans seemed to have merit and would save the company some big bucks tomorrow, next week, and next month.

I wonder about the long term. Saving the dollar today, isn't necessarily the best way to build a fortune. Taking the dollar out today may cut the opportunity to look at the the cents of the business. The teaching, the learning, the opportunity to amass something sustainable that will keep the business viable instead of going the way of so many others before it. It occurs to me that if they applied some of Grandma's philosophies, they stand a good chance of making it successfully through the day, and also well into the very distant future.

Granted, Grandma didn't spend a lot of time counting dollars, but she did have a way with common "cents". Small pearls of wisdom that if added up, the "cents" they represented would be far more valuable than the obvious dollar.

Sometimes in business and in life, we focus only on the outcomes instead of why and how we got there and who was involved.

Whenever I came home with a dilemma, Grandma didn't necessarily solve my problem; she found a way to empower those around her to solve their own problem. She encouraged reflection about the "who's" and the "why's" and the little things that would cause a slow but permanent positive change.

Whether it was her intent or not, I took away from her the idea that BIG hairy noticible audacious "things" were hard to sustain, small stuff and small steps were the way to succeed. Many of her ideas went un-noticed to even the most critical eyes, until it was too late and positive change happened. Maybe she recognized that such large changes would be met with large resistance. Small changes add up over time.

You can save one dollar today and have a dollar tomorrow. Or you can keep adding up your cents indefinitely and eventually amass a fortune.

Hmmmm... tomorrow, I will encourage some business owners take a lesson from Grandma.