Oprah... and loss.

Oprah mourns death of her dog Gracie

July 18, 2007 at 1:20 pm

Oprah Winfrey is mourning the death of her 2-year-old golden retriever, Gracie.

"Weeks have passed," Winfrey says in the August issue of O, the Oprah Magazine. "And the pain has not subsided. Every time I think about it, my heart starts racing and I feel like I just got stabbed in the chest."

On May 26, Gracie choked to death on a plastic ball that belonged to Sophie, Winfrey's 12-year-old cocker spaniel, while out with her dog walker and two other golden retrievers, Winfrey says.

"I ran barefoot out of the house and found the dog walker and one of my security guys pumping her chest," Winfrey, 53, recalls. "Just as I reached them, the security guy looked up and said, `I'm sorry, ma'am. We tried everything. I'm sorry. She's gone.'"

Winfrey who "stood there dazed, stunned, crying" as Gracie was placed in a golf cart says she learned this lesson: Enjoy life but remember to slow down, too.

"She never stopped moving. Was energy in motion. ... I have never seen a being, human or animal, always so full of joy," Winfrey says of Gracie, who ran amok and gulped food and treats.

"This dog lived every moment as though it were her last."
Winfrey says she "got the message" to slow down and catch her breath when Gracie died.

"I don't believe in accidents," says the host of "The Oprah Winfrey Show." "I know for sure that everything in life happens to help us live."

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Death, depression, anxiety, and relationship splitting all have something in common... dealing with strong emotions, loss, and grieving. It is a tough concept for most folks to get their heads around. The symptoms and feelings that Oprah describes are common amongst those who are dealing with loss of any kind.

Loss is such a relative concept. Who says that certain types of loss are bigger than others? Don't marginalize Oprah's loss because it was "just a pet."

Don't marginalize any losses...

Certainly there may be varying levels and degrees, but overall the feelings are the same. The healing process is still the same.

There is also no one right way to cope. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone views their own losses and the losses of others in a different way. It all seems like such a simple thing to solve when it's not happening to you.

It's been said that "time heals everything". Sure, tell Oprah that. Tell anyone who had a loss that and see how much better it makes them feel.

It doesn't. At least not in the short term.

Nobody wants to hear how they will feel better in a few weeks, months or years. Grief, loss, and the feelings associated with it are so consuming that most people need a must faster solution than waiting around.

In some cases, just the act of waiting for the feelings to go away is even more painful than the initial loss.

So in the short term, what stops the pain, the thoughts, and the feelings of hopelessness and dispair? When does the hurt stop? And how long is "short term" before it becomes "long term"? At what point do we stop relying on "time" to heal and move on to try something else?